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  ‘Vanished? What do you mean?’

  ‘Exactly what I said, Mrs Thompson. No one has seen her since then, and she wasn’t checked out through the office.’ Principal McConnell sounded more irritated than concerned as her words snapped at me. ‘Did you come to pick her up and forget to sign her out?’

  My heart thumped frantically. It wasn’t like Willow – who prided herself on perfect attendance each quarter – to play hooky.

  ‘No, we didn’t pick her up. Did you check the bathrooms, locker rooms, places like that?’

  ‘Of course, Mrs Thompson. No one has seen her. And no one saw her leave.’

  ‘Did you ask her friends? Maybe they know where she might have gone.’

  ‘We spoke with all of her friends, but no one knows anything. And no other kids have gone missing, which means she went on her own. Her bag and books are still in her locker though, which is odd. I imagine she would have taken them with her if she went home.’

  ‘And you searched the entire school premises for her?’

  Her umbrage was totally undisguised now. ‘Yes, Mrs Thompson, when we realized she was missing that was the first thing we did – before calling you.’

  ‘Thanks for letting me know, Principal McConnell. I’ll figure it out. And if you hear anything more, please let me know right away.’

  ‘Absolutely, Mrs Thompson. We hope to see Willow back in school tomorrow.’

  As I hung up, I teetered between immobilizing fear and resolute action. I didn’t have time to worry; I needed to find her. Figure out where she went. It was a matter of deduction. She’d never leave school unless it was for something important. The only things that mattered were her friends, who were all accounted for, lacrosse, and Ryan.

  Then it clicked, like a lock cracking open.

  I wondered if this had anything to do with my conversation with Ryan two nights ago. It’s possible Willow heard more than she let on, or maybe Ryan had told her about it. That was the more likely scenario, since they were as thick as thieves; it didn’t surprise me that Ryan would confide in her. I decided to call him on his cell phone to see if he knew anything about Willow’s disappearing act.

  I dialed his number, listening to it ring once, twice, three times, then again before the call dropped me into his voicemail.

  ‘Ry, honey, it’s Mom. Call me the moment you get this. It’s about Willow and it’s urgent.’

  His phone was an appendage, so I decided to text him in case he was in the middle of class and couldn’t take calls.

  Willow is missing. Call me ASAP.

  I waited a minute, then another for a reply, then realized I hadn’t called Grant yet. I had a feeling he’d tell me I was overreacting, that when he was Willow’s age he often skipped school. But that wasn’t Willow. Willow was a straight-A, goody-goody, perfect-attendance kind of girl. She never missed school unless she was on the verge of being deathly sick, and even then I had to force her to stay home. Hooky wasn’t in her vocabulary.

  Grant picked up on the first ring, God bless him. ‘Everything okay, honey?’ He spoke with the anxious concern that my rare calls to his office always engendered.

  ‘No, Willow’s missing. She showed up at school, but the principal just called to say she disappeared – even left her book bag at school. I’m thinking about calling the police.’

  ‘Don’t do anything until I get home, okay? I’m on my way.’

  He hung up before I could say anything else.

  By the time Grant got home fifteen minutes later I had no call from Ryan, no update from the school, and no idea where my twelve-year-old daughter was. I had slipped from a Sarah Connor badass take-no-prisoners heroine into a panic-mode mom. So I called the only other person who could help me through my terror: Mackenzie. Despite our fight, despite what had happened between Ryan and Aria, I needed my best friend now more than ever. She was the only one who understood, one mother to another, that when it came to our kids, we put them above all else. Above any drama that came between us.

  My butterfingers fumbled around my cell phone screen as I misdialed once, twice. Third time’s the charm.

  I could barely hold the threads of my sanity together as I spoke. ‘Mac, it’s me, Robin. Please don’t hang up. I need your help.’

  Nothing but silence for a long moment, then a sigh. Thank God she hadn’t hung up on me. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘I’m freaking out here. Willow’s missing.’

  ‘Oh, Robin. What happened?’

  In an instant my friend had returned. No matter what happened between us, I knew she’d be there when I needed her most. ‘She was at school this morning then suddenly disappeared. No one knows where she is. If you can think of anywhere she might have gone—’

  The front door swung open and Grant rushed in, his eyes wild with worry. He saw me on the phone and immediately started pacing the room, swiping his hand through his hair and muttering underneath his breath. He was so agitated it was a miracle he made it home in one piece. He waved me to hurry up.

  ‘I can check Eat’n Park, the mall … local hangout spots,’ Mac offered.

  ‘Sure, that’d be great.’

  ‘Hey—’ Mac’s momentary silence sounded louder than her words. ‘We’ll find her.’

  ‘Thanks. I gotta go. I’m heading to the police station now with Grant, but if you hear anything, please call me. I’m so scared, Mac.’

  ‘Don’t worry – I’m sure she’s fine. I’ll call around and get the word out. Hang in there.’

  ‘Thanks.’ I was about to hang up, then said, ‘I love you, Mac. I’m sorry for everything.’

  ‘This doesn’t mean we’re okay, but that’s not what matters right now. Let’s just bring Willow home.’

  The call ended and I slipped my phone in my back pocket. I wiped the stinging tears away, staining my finger black with runny mascara.

  ‘What exactly happened?’ Grant asked. I’d never heard his voice so tense, so emotional. He was just as scared as I was.

  ‘Nothing – that’s exactly the issue. I can’t get a hold of Ryan, and Willow’s not here or at school. We need to report a missing child.’

  ‘All right, let’s go. You grab Collette. I’ve got pictures of Willow on my phone I can give the police.’

  Sharing missing child photos. Filing a police report. None of it felt real, and yet I sped through each moment on autopilot. With Collette firmly pressed to one hip and a diaper bag bumping against my thigh, I ran to meet Grant at the minivan.

  My fingers fumbled over the car seat clips as I hurriedly adjusted Collette in place. The clip was stuck shut with something sticky, and the more I fidgeted with it, the more stubborn it became.

  ‘Please fucking click shut!’ I screamed at the lock, sending Collette into fearful tears.

  ‘Shhh, I’m sorry, sweetie,’ I tried to soothe Collette, but she was already pink-faced crying now. Her wails grew louder and louder, and everything crashed in on me all at once. The insurmountable debt. Grant’s aloofness. My out-of-control family. Lies piling on top of lies. And the sleepless nights trying to calm the cries of a colicky baby. Love held no sway over exhaustion, frustration, and pent-up anger.

  ‘Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!’

  ‘Get a hold of yourself!’ Grant jumped out of the car and ran to me, pulling me against him. ‘It’s going to be fine. I promise we’ll find her.’

  He led me to the passenger’s side door, guiding me into the seat.

  ‘Try to relax, Robin. We’ll deal with Collette when we get there.’ He swiped a dangling toy from the rearview mirror, handed it to Collette, and fastened the buckle with an easy click. ‘You’re all worked up. Close your eyes and breathe.’

  I did as he said, my chest aching with each painful gasp.

  By the time we pulled up to the Monroeville Municipal Center, my breathing had returned to normal. A wall of glass three stories high loomed beyond the placard directing visitors to the various departments.

  ‘I think we need t
o pull around back,’ I said, pointing to where the gray brick wrapped around toward a lower parking lot. A line of parked cop cars led the way. We found several parking spots in front of a large sign that read Monroeville Police Department. Grant pulled into the closest spot to the glass doors leading inside the lobby.

  A honeysuckle-fragranced breeze followed us inside. I ran up to the front desk receptionist and said breathlessly, ‘I need to report a missing child. This morn—’

  ‘One second. I’ll let you speak with an officer.’ She picked up the phone and turned away from us slightly as she spoke quietly into the mouthpiece. When she hung up, she waved us to follow her, weaving around cubicles until we reached a desk in the corner where a cop in uniform stood waiting. ‘Officer Montgomery will help you. I hope you find your child,’ she said with a grim smile.

  The policewoman extended her hand, giving us each a firm shake as Grant set down Collette’s car seat next to a metal chair. Her hair was pulled in a tight blond bun, secured at the nape of her neck. I randomly wondered how many pins were required to keep it so neat all day.

  ‘I’m Officer Courtney Montgomery. Please have a seat.’

  Other than a picture of Officer Montgomery and two other women in front of a sprawling vineyard overlooking a lake, her desk was sparse compared to the cluttered ones surrounding us. I wondered if this meant she was extremely efficient or extremely new at this job.

  Collette cooed as Grant handed her a plush bunny toy, its ear half chewed and wet from Collette’s teething.

  Officer Montgomery grinned sympathetically, then picked up a pen and paper. ‘You’re reporting a missing child, correct, Mr and Mrs …?’

  ‘Thompson,’ said Grant. ‘Yes, our daughter Willow.’

  ‘What is your child’s full name and age?’

  ‘Willow Eve Thompson. She’s twelve years old.’

  ‘I’m sorry you’re going through this. What time did she go missing? And where was she last seen?’ Officer Montgomery looked up, her eyes sincere and compassionate. I liked this woman, perhaps a mother like me, and I instantly felt like she’d bring my little girl home. Anyone who cared this much had to be good at her job.

  ‘Willow went to school this morning – Gateway Middle – like usual,’ I explained. ‘But it was right after first period’ – I mentally calculated the time – ‘maybe around ten o’clock or so, when she disappeared. The teachers and staff looked all over the campus for her but couldn’t find her. That’s when I got a call from her principal, about thirty minutes ago, telling me what happened. No one has seen her since.’

  Officer Montgomery scribbled something down, then glanced back up. ‘Have you checked with her friends to see if any of them have heard anything or know anything?’

  ‘The principal told me they did, and none of her friends are missing from school. As soon as I found out I called Grant and we came straight here.’

  ‘Is it unusual for her to skip school?’

  ‘Willow loves school – she’s a straight-A student, as dedicated as they come,’ Grant interjected. ‘She’s never done anything like this before. She’s perfect.’

  Officer Montgomery smirked as if she heard that a lot. ‘Does she have a cell phone?’

  ‘No, we don’t believe kids that age should have a personal phone,’ Grant said. ‘She uses our home phone for calls.’

  ‘That helps. It eliminates the possibility that she might be connecting with someone you don’t know about – a secret boyfriend, for example.’ Officer Montgomery’s glance strayed from Grant’s face to mine, where it stayed. ‘Anything traumatic happen in your home lately? A fight? Sibling issues?’

  I didn’t want to tell the cop about what Willow might have overheard, but what if it mattered? What if it led me to her? But it also might not.

  ‘Um, nothing that would make her run away,’ I answered, a second too late. Officer Montgomery searched my face. I had taken too long.

  ‘Well, since she’s only been missing a couple hours, I suggest you call her friends, see if any of them know anything, and have the principal and homeroom teacher contact me so I can take their statements. In most cases with girls this age, they’re skipping school, hitting the mall, doing what rebellious teenage girls do. Let’s give it a couple more hours and see if we can figure out where she might have gone.’

  She handed me her card, and a wave of disappointment swept over me.

  ‘That’s it? That’s all you can do? What if she was kidnapped?’

  ‘It’s highly unlikely she was abducted from the school property, Mrs Thompson. With the security they have, someone would have seen something. Most likely she left on her own to go somewhere to meet someone. She had a specific purpose for leaving the school grounds. We just have to figure out those two details.’

  My mind immediately jumped to the only logical answer: she had left school with Ryan; that’s why he wasn’t answering his phone. But what was the specific purpose? Of course: they were looking for Ryan’s biological father.

  I decided not to mention it to Officer Montgomery, not yet. Not until I located Ryan first. The truth would disrupt all our lives. It’d put a spotlight on Ryan, which was the last thing he needed right now. And God forbid Grant find out like this. No, I couldn’t bring Ryan’s past into this. There had to be another way to find Willow without sacrificing my son.

  ‘Thank you for your time and help,’ I said flatly.

  ‘Try not to worry. We have a lot of missing child cases and almost all of them get resolved within a couple hours. Kids tend to wander off, get into mischief.’ She grinned at Grant, adding, ‘It happens quite a bit, even with perfect kids.’ She turned back to me. ‘If you don’t see or hear from her by dinnertime, call me on my cell. We’ll find her. Okay, Mrs Thompson?’ Her hand rested on mine in a silent promise to bring Willow home. I wanted to believe that promise, but I couldn’t.

  Down at Grant’s feet Collette began to squirm and squawk, her face wrinkling with irritation. Grant sensed I was a powder keg about to explode.

  ‘All right. We appreciate it, Officer Montgomery,’ he said, rising to his feet. ‘You’ll hear from us one way or another this evening.’

  I picked up the car seat while dangling a toy in front of Collette. She only cried louder as she strained against her confinement. I hurried down the corridor past open cubicles, faces turning at the sound of my baby’s earsplitting shrieks. Grant silently speed-walked behind me. He knew better than to speak. Never mess with a mom on a mission – or one dealing with a fussy baby.

  As we slid into the car, my phone rang. An unknown local number. I picked it up before the second ring.

  ‘Hello?’ I said, my voice trembling.

  ‘I have your daughter,’ a man said. And in that cold, eternal moment, every mother’s worst fear stabbed me in the heart.

  Chapter 22

  Lily

  THURSDAY

  I couldn’t tell if it was real or a dream, the pounding in my head. The thrum thrum thrum quickening, throbbing against my skull as it intensified.

  ‘Lily, please open up!’ a tinny voice commanded.

  It sounded distant, like someone screaming from the depths of outer space. I felt myself being sucked into a black hole …

  And then my eyelids fluttered open.

  ‘Lily, it’s me, Mackenzie. Please, it’s urgent!’

  It took a moment for my world to reassemble itself. I was in my apartment, passed out on the couch. I had no idea what day or time it was, and for a moment I felt scared. What had I missed?

  The banging on the door continued.

  ‘Please open up!’ She sounded urgent, spooked.

  ‘Coming!’ I yelled. I hefted myself up, feeling my legs wobble as the apartment shifted underfoot. Suddenly the world fell on its side. I clutched the arm of the sofa to regain my balance, waiting for the room to stop spinning. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply. A few seconds passed, along with the vertigo.

  I shuffled to the front door, unlocki
ng the deadbolt. Before I could even crack the door open, Mackenzie pushed her way past me into the entryway.

  ‘Willow’s missing.’ Her face was pink and flustered, like she’d jogged the whole way here. But I recognized it as hysteria. Mackenzie often got this way when Owen pushed her to breaking point. My job as best friend was to level her out, talk sense back into her. I knew how to navigate the spousal merda, but runaway kids were not in my wheelhouse. It was information overload for my fried brain to process.

  ‘Wait – start over. What’s going on?’

  I led her into the living room, then settled on the edge of the sofa while Mackenzie paced the floor.

  ‘Willow was at school this morning but went missing. Robin’s at the police station right now. We need to help in any way we can.’

  ‘What can we do?’ I had never had kids. I had never dealt with the police. This couldn’t have anything to do with me and Grant in the pantry, could it? Was I to blame?

  I didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to know. I felt useless. Worthless. Depressed. Miserable.

  Guilty.

  And it had nothing to do with Willow but everything to do with what I’d done.

  ‘I don’t know what to do,’ Mac fretted. ‘I just feel horrible for Robin, especially since the last time we spoke we got into a major fight.’ She paused. Knowing her for so long, I could tell she was hiding something.

  ‘What’d you fight about?’

  She shrugged halfheartedly. ‘Nothing.’

  I wasn’t buying that.

  ‘Come on. You know I’ll always listen to you.’

  ‘Fine.’ She hesitated, and for a moment I wondered if she had decided not to spill. Finally, pay dirt. ‘I caught Aria and Ryan having sex.’

  ‘What?’ The word escaped while I was still processing the news. Little Aria, not so little anymore.

  ‘But Aria has no recollection of it. And Robin’s acting like it’s no big deal.’

  ‘They’re teens, Mac. It’s a rite of passage to make dumb decisions.’

  ‘I don’t think you understand, Lil.’ Her voice had an edge, her blue eyes darkened. ‘Ryan took advantage of Aria. She had no idea what was happening, and she still doesn’t know what happened.’