A Slow Ruin Page 11

  “You do gymnastics?”

  Blythe couldn’t help but detect my judgmental tone but was too polite to embarrass me.

  “I’m no Simone Biles, though that girl is everything to me. What she can do with her body…I can only dream. Sucks that she got the twisties at the Olympics. Been there, done that.” She grinned self-effacingly. “But yeah, I’ve loved gymnastics ever since I was two. Won nationals with my floor routine, and was runner-up on the balance beam. I used to want to try out for the Olympics, but…well…it’s expensive. My mom works, like, three jobs just to pay for my training now. Though I’ve been offered a college scholarship already, so it’ll be worth it.”

  Wow. A true athlete. And college-bound. I couldn’t believe how wrong I had been about her. I had been so quick to judge her outside I hadn’t even bothered to see who she was.

  “Thank you for your time, Blythe. And good luck with your competition. I appreciate you being a good friend to Vera.”

  “She was a good friend to me too. Every day I worry about her and pray she comes home. Can I give you my cell phone number in case you hear something?”

  “Of course, Blythe.”

  Blythe held her palm out. It took a moment for me to realize she wanted my phone. I pulled it out of my pocket and handed it to her, then she boldly navigated her way to my contacts and typed in her info. “Text me anytime. And when Vera comes home…I want to do something special to celebrate. Because she’s coming home, Mrs. Portman. I still believe that.”

  “Me too, sweetie.” As she passed me back my phone, I remembered what I wanted to ask her. “Real quick. That tattoo—what does it mean?”

  She glanced down at her wrist.

  “Oh, Vera designed this for our matching tattoos. It’s the Celtic symbol for courage. I know it’s, like, cliché, but we thought it was pretty.”

  “I’m sorry, did you say that you and Vera both got a tattoo?”

  “Yeah, Vera begged me to do it with her. My mom agreed to let me get one as long as Vera got your permission too.”

  I absolutely did not.

  “Did Vera tell you I was okay with it?”

  “Well, you signed the parental consent form, didn’t you?”

  I glared at Cody, searching for an explanation. Secret boyfriend. Tattoo. Forgery. What else had Vera hidden from me? And when had she gotten so clever to get away with it? Cody’s gaze darted away and he shook his head to deflect my anger anywhere but on him.

  Now was not the time to suspect how Vera had deceived me. The bigger issue was what had become of my obedient daughter. Who was she when she walked out our door for the last time, and who had helped create her? Because someone was behind this. And I had a feeling I knew who.

  “No, I didn’t sign anything. Who took you girls?”

  “Some lady friend of Vera’s.”

  “Do you remember her name or where Vera met her?”

  “Sorry, I don’t remember. It was, like, a while ago.”

  I couldn’t believe this. Vera had friends of legal age, old enough to drive them to get a tattoo and then sign legal consent. This was more than I could bear. There was too much I didn’t know about my sweet girl, revealing just how severely I had failed as her mother.

  Again my phone buzzed, and I glanced at the screen, wondering what could possibly be so important that they needed to call three times in as many minutes.

  Oliver.

  He could wait.

  I just needed one more thing.

  “Do you happen to have Austin’s address? Or his parents’ names?”

  “Uhhh…well, last I heard he was living in a group home. Something about him getting in a fight with his stepdad.”

  So he was violent too. Great choice of boyfriend, Vera.

  “I’d still like to swing by to see if I can track him down.”

  “Sure. I don’t remember his street address, but I can give you directions for how to get there. He only lives a few minutes from here.”

  I pulled out my phone and typed the directions as Blythe rattled them off, then thanked her on my way out the door.

  “Mrs. Portman?” Blythe’s voice stopped me as I stepped off the front porch. I turned around to see not Goth Girl, but a teary-eyed child missing her best friend. She sniffled, swiped at a tear rolling down her cheek. “I know you believe Vera’s out there, alive. Like I do. But why do you think she hasn’t come back yet?”

  “I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Hopefully what you’ve told me can help me find her. I hope you feel better, Blythe.”

  Blythe watched as Cody and I walked to the car. As we were pulling out of the driveway I waved. She waved back.

  A little ways down the road I felt Cody’s gaze locked on me.

  “What?” I said, stealing a glance.

  “You okay, Felicity? I’m sure that felt like a bomb dropping.”

  A humph escaped through my strained grin. “More like a nuclear missile. But at least this is something. I just wish Vera would have told me who she hung out with, and that she had a boyfriend. Why did she feel the need to hide so much from me?”

  “You act like you were never a kid yourself, Felicity. Didn’t her call log or texting log show their phone numbers?”

  “You would think, but no. The police checked all her cell phone records and listed all the numbers for us. Most were to me, Oliver, Marin, Nana, and the friends I knew about. I don’t know how she was contacting these other people.”

  “It’s pretty easy to do through all the social media apps now. Almost all of them have direct messaging.”

  “You know we can go directly to the source, right?”

  Cody groaned. “You’re going to drag me to see what the boyfriend knows, aren’t you?”

  “Of course I am. I’m sure as hell not going alone. You heard what Blythe said about him.”

  I skimmed the directions Blythe had given me, trying to hold the phone while figuring out which turn I was supposed to make next. On the dashboard Cody’s phone lit up.

  “It’s Oliver. I’m guessing he figured out I’m with you.”

  “Why’s he calling you, Cody? He’s acting like a maniac calling me a dozen times. Just answer and tell him I dragged you with me to pick up…I don’t know. Something big and heavy. A dog crate that got delivered to my store.”

  When Cody answered, I could hear Oliver’s angry voice from three feet away. Cody held out the phone for me to take. I exhaled and accepted it.

  “He—”

  “Where the hell are you?” he yelled before I got my hello in.

  “I’m running errands. Why?”

  “You forgot to pick up the kids from karate class! Their sensei left me three messages during my Zoom meeting asking where you were because you weren’t there yet and Sydney wasn’t feeling well.”

  “What!” I yelled. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I must have lost track of time. I’m on my way there now. I’ll be there in less than ten minutes.”

  My babies. I had completely forgotten about my babies. I was about to hang up and freak out when Oliver kept going, anger powering every word.

  “You know we have to talk about this later. It’s becoming a problem, Felicity. And I don’t know if I can keep picking up your broken pieces anymore.”

  He hung up, leaving the threat growing between us. He was right. I was losing my mind over this. Forgetting my children. Risking Sydney’s life. Saving Vera wasn’t just about her anymore. It was about saving my marriage, saving my family, saving myself.

  Chapter 14

  Marin

  Cody noticed everything. He grumbled when I moved his shaving supplies over half an inch to make room for my facial cleanser. He commented when the salad forks were mixed with the dinner forks in the silverware drawer. He could tell when I used a teaspoon of his protein powder. And he most certainly noticed every time my phone beeped with a new text.

  Cody was also quite verb
al about the things he noticed.

  “Mare, your stuff is starting to take over the whole sink,” he’d tease. Or “Mare, just a reminder to separate the different types of forks.” Or “Mare, if you want your own protein powder, I’ll buy you some.” The absolute worst was “Mare, did you change your text notification sound? It doesn’t sound like your usual beep.”

  I don’t know when my husband became so observant of the intricacies of conjugal living, but it terrified me what he noticed but hadn’t mentioned. Because someone as observant as Cody couldn’t have missed the glaring signs that I was hiding something. Or when my lies didn’t match up. I had a feeling he knew more than he was letting on when he asked too many questions or came home early from work unexpectedly.

  Like he was doing right now.

  “I’ll be home late tonight since I’m closing,” he had told me this morning on his way out the door to the car dealership. A kiss and the slam of the front door later, I didn’t know if he was telling the truth or not, since if I was lying to him, the logical conclusion was that he could be lying to me too. I couldn’t track his cell phone, since we had both turned off our location tracking without explanation. Well, my explanation had been that it was draining my battery, but that was just another lie.

  It was storming when I ran to my car, dashing through sheets of rain. A bolt of lightning ripped a seam through the freakishly green sky (not a portent of a tornado, I hoped), as I slipped, dripping wet, onto the ripped fabric seat. A peal of thunder shook the air as I swung the door shut. My hand trembled as I inserted the keys—or was that another grumble of thunder shaking the car? Under normal circumstances I would not have driven in this weather. Under normal circumstances I would not have snuck out to avoid Cody finding out. Under normal circumstances I would not have risked everything for this. But this was not normal circumstances. This was murder.

  I started the car, pushed the gear into reverse, and slowly backed up. Another streak of white, then the car shuddered and lurched. Not thunder this time, but an impact. Harsh high beams reflected off the rearview mirror, blinding me. I hit the brakes, though the car was already pinned in place, then turned around in my seat and put the car in park.

  I couldn’t see who I had hit, who was now blocking me in. Until the red of Cody’s truck cut through the rain. I barely made out his figure approaching, pause to check the fender damage, then head toward my driver’s-side window.

  My mind fumbled for an explanation for why I was heading out, in the middle of a raging storm, late at night. I didn’t have time to come up with anything as Cody showed up at my window, raindrops swirling around him like glitter in the headlights.

  “Are you crazy? Where are you going in this weather?” he demanded.

  “I thought you were working late.” Deflection, my father had always taught me. A useful tool.

  “My general manager offered to close tonight.” Of course Cody would accept the offer rather than take the overtime pay. “So? Where you going?”

  “Out.” My brain remained blank.

  “Okay. Why are you acting so secretive?”

  “I’m not acting secretive.”

  “Fine, then let me park and I’ll join you.”

  I couldn’t exactly say no as he was already sprinting back to his truck. A minute later it was parked beside me and he hefted himself through my passenger side door and fidgeted with his seat belt.

  “So where are we going?”

  I had two choices. Lie and figure out a random place to go, wasting more precious time. Or tell the truth and just take Cody with me. I knew the truth could destroy me. It could rip my marriage apart, turn my family against me, cost me everything I loved. But I had no other choice, if it could save Vera. Truth, it was.

  “Cody”—I turned my shamed gaze on him, pleading silently for his understanding—“I haven’t been honest with you about something. A lot of somethings, actually.”

  I couldn’t push the confession out. It hurt so bad, ripping my throat.

  “Okay…” Worry spread across his face. “Whatever it is, I’m here to help.”

  His assurance fed me courage.

  “Before I tell you this, I need you to know I would never do anything to hurt your family. You all mean everything to me. It was a stupid one-time mistake…and now I’m terrified I’m the reason everything happened with Vera.”

  “Oh my God. You’re having an affair.” Cody stared at me, lips parted in a stunned O. “Is it with Oliver?”

  “Wha—? No, Cody! I’m not having an affair. Why would you think that?”

  “I don’t know. You’ve got some big confession going on here. That’s the first thing that came to mind.”

  “No, that’s not it at all. Cody, I was the last person to see Vera alive…and I know this because I dropped her off at her boyfriend’s house the night she went missing.”

  Cody gaped at me. I couldn’t read what he was thinking or feeling. Confusion? Disgust? Hatred? Blame?

  “Are you saying you know where Vera is and haven’t told anyone?” All I heard was anger.

  “I couldn’t, Cody. Your family would have blamed me if they ever found out! I was terrified of losing you all. You know how Felicity is—she would have never forgiven me.” Felicity held grudges like she held her secrets—with a tight fist.

  “But we could have already brought Vera home.” Cody didn’t understand the bigger picture. There was so much more to the story, things I could never tell him. “I don’t understand why you would keep this from the family. Or from the police.”

  “Vera begged me not to tell anyone about Austin, Cody. She swore me to secrecy. I wanted to go speak to him myself before I told anyone else. He’s been in some trouble in the past, from what I understand, which is why Vera hid him from everyone. This boy has enough problems without tying him to a missing person’s case. No dad. A drunkard mom. But he’s finally getting his life together. And he really is a sweet kid and adored Vera. If he got dragged into Vera’s disappearance, his life would be over. You know Felicity—you know what she’s capable of.”

  “Why do you care so much about this kid when your niece is missing?”

  “Because putting him at risk isn’t going to save Vera. I’m not going to throw an innocent kid under the bus until I have a reason to.”

  Cody’s hands flipped up in the air. “Come on, Marin. Having the police look into him isn’t throwing him under the bus. Let them weed out the details. It’s not your job to assume his innocence in all this.”

  My husband was blind to reality—the raw, unprivileged version of it. How could he understand any differently, though? He’d never been racially profiled and pulled over while driving to the grocery store. People didn’t fearfully skirt around him when crossing paths on the sidewalk. He never suffered discrimination a day in his life over the color of his skin or where he grew up, nor had a minor brush with the law. His father never had the talk with him about how to react to the blatant racism Black kids were constantly exposed to from authority figures, and how to react in such situations, if you wanted to stay alive. My father had the talk with me right before he went off to war, because as a soldier he knew he would be living on borrowed time.

  A kid with a tainted past would be doomed if he ever came under the radar. I wasn’t about to put him there. “Better to keep your mouth shut and seem a fool than to open it and remove all doubt,” as Mom would have said.

  “Listen, Cody, if I mention Austin’s name to the police, he’ll end up being a suspect, and with his track record, this could ruin his life if they try to pin it on him. Tons of kids’ lives get ruined for wrongful conviction. Look at the Central Park Jogger case and all the kids who lost their freedom for decades over a crime they didn’t commit.” I had made Cody watch the Netflix series When They See Us to show him how corrupt the justice system could be when left unchecked. Hadn’t he been paying attention? I was only getting started as I felt the rage build.

/>   “And just a few years ago a boy named Davontae Sanford was fourteen—a kid!—when he was convicted and spent nine years in jail for a crime that a hitman confessed to shortly after the crime happened! These innocent Black kids were victims of bias, corruption, and incompetence. They were convenient fall guys for a broken justice system. I can’t risk putting Austin through that without talking to him myself first.”

  Cody shook his head. His silence was all the disappointment I could handle. He was clueless, but I refused to be. I didn’t have that luxury.

  “Do you want to come with me to talk to him or not? I don’t think he has anything to do with Vera going missing, but I’m going there to find out what he knows.”

  Now I could read my husband: defeat.

  “I’m trusting you big-time with this, Mare. I’m obviously going with you, but if there is anything shady about him, I’m turning him over to the cops to deal with.”

  “He’s a teenage boy, but whatever. That’s fine if you want to come. Just don’t say anything or threaten him or do anything, got it? Be on your best behavior.”

  He crossed his heart, like we were in third grade. “I promise I’ll be good.”

  Why did I doubt that promise?

  Based on my memory of Vera’s directions, Austin—I never got his last name—only lived about eight minutes from us, in a rundown neighborhood on Marigold Street. It was the kind of place where you heard gunshots in nearby alleys and didn’t flinch. He should have been in a foster home under the protection of people who could take care of him, assuming he landed with a family that cared. But from what Vera had told me, his mother was functioning just well enough to keep custody. If I could have taken him in, I would have. Countless times I had considered kidnapping him…if only to save him, because he reminded me so much of, well, me. He had a good heart, but life kept trying to beat the good out of him. I hoped Austin would cling to whatever goodness remained and make something of himself. If anyone deserved extra chances, it was kids like Austin.